Let's talk about Imposter Syndrome. This has been a theme in my life lately and it seems to resonate with a lot of people around me as well. It was first brought to my attention by one of my oldest & dearest friends from elementary school. When I took a break from the boutique, I thought I wasn't good enough and I was ultimately self-sabotaging. I felt that I didn't deserve the success I had already made. I didn't feel my education was credible enough to run a fashion business. I didn't think my career in production was relevant or made me qualified to produce my own content. I had just about every negative talk with myself and that's what led me to my breaking point. I decided I couldn't grow a human, plan a wedding, and run a business while still working 12 hour days full time in production. It was simply too much. I felt like I was not worthy of all the success I was creating with all of the big life changes happening at once, including my dad passing a year prior.
I started working when I was 15 years old, I had to get a work permit from the state. I was a hostess at a restaurant where I worked for 3 years, I managed to receive multiple promotions, from takeout to serving & even catering events. I worked this job with a full time schedule, in high school because I was homeschooled. I was always able to manage multiple projects and tasks at once but something was different this time. When I put a hold on the boutique I knew that I needed to dig deep and figure out my niche.
While the pandemic is and was terrible for many reasons, it also gave me a little bit of time to to regroup and refocus on what it is that I truly want to do. It gave me the ability to put a hold on my business without people questioning me. It gave me time to be with my daughter for the first year of her life, and my husband was able to be there for the first 6 months or so which is unheard of. We really lucked out with the timing of everything.
In February 2021, we bought our home. This finally gave me the space and ability to start unpacking everything I had carefully stored away for the move. As I began looking through the clothing, I realized that I just needed to keep pushing. I knew I needed to rebrand and so I designed a new logo that felt more simplistic & approachable. I re-did my entire website & I began re-editing all the photography we had previously done. I realized my skills had always been valuable and that I did have the passion and drive for this business.
After announcing the relaunch & the new mommy & me collection I received great feedback and started working on building my community in the mommy space. This has been such a huge pivot but it feels so right. I know each step I take is leading me to the right path, it's just a matter of time and dedication.
As I mentioned earlier, my dear friend had brought up this concept of imposter syndrome to me. She asked if she could come over and shop because she preferred to shop in person and I couldn't say no to catching up and helping style her before her trip! She asked me what's been going on with the store and I felt aloof, I didn't know how to tell her I gave up on myself and my business for some time but I was trying to get it back up and running. She reminded me that I had always had great style, she even said she looked to me for trends since we were kids. This really resonated with me and made me think how silly I have been for doubting myself. She told me that I deserved the success I had made and that I was good enough to be here. That was exactly what I needed to hear.
I started rethinking everything, like my education and career and how they did give me the experience I needed to start this business. I realized that the desire to start my own business had been coming for a long time, I always knew that I wanted to work with people, I enjoy making them feel comfortable and there is nothing better than seeing a woman leave happier than when she walked in the door. That's the type of feeling I love to give my friends when they leave my house and I want every woman to feel that way when they leave my pop-up sale or website. I want her to relate & feel connected to me and my family.
It takes a lot of self exploration to discover who you are and what you love, and that didn't come so easy to me. This path has led me to discovering who I am, who I have always been and what I love to do. I have had a passion for fashion since I was a little girl. Another girlfriend and I would save our lunch money each week and on Friday we would go to the mall and get something of high quality, usually brand name & often times we'd get the same thing to match! As I got older, I would get frustrated that I would spend a lot of money on a quality item and grow out of them so fast. Back then we didn't have Poshmark and Depop to re-sell our items. We didn't have influencers making us feel like we can't keep up with the latest trends! Life was just a bit more simple than it is now.
But that being said, I have all the skills I need to keep up with the changing times and I know I have good fashion sense. It has always been a matter of believing in myself and my ability to do something bigger than just me. So this is what imposter syndrome has looked like for me. It may look different in your field or expertise. Why are we our worst critic? It has to stop! Believe in yourself and your education/experience. Why else do we spend all the time and money in school if not to use it for our success? Once you get out of your own way and start believing in you, you can finally set yourself up for success. This is where I am at in my journey. Where are you on your journey to self discovery?
Here are two articles and a TedTalk I found that really helped me to understand Imposter Syndrome and how to overcome it:
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